Libertarianism and naughty despots

If I had a town crier and a particularly tall tower, I would send that little monkey up the stairs to declare, "The Naughty Despot from the kingdom of Mt. Willis speaks today...NO NEW LAWS! Hear ye, hear ye...NO NEW LAWS in the kingdom of Mt. Willis. The Naughty Despot has spoken!."

Unfortunately, no matter how strong a voice my monkey maintains, people will not listen. There are people out there who want new laws. We must be protected from our own stupidity, you understand. Three kids die after riding in the back of a pick-up equates to calls for a new law banning pick-up bed riding. Dead motorcyclists dirty up the road with gray matter, make'em wear helmets. Guy starts injecting roosted red peppers for that sweet high it gives him, ban the red peppers and all roasting implements.

The longevity of the American Idiocy gene is unparalleled. You just can't mutate (or evolve) from sheer recklessness and stupidity and no matter what laws you pass, people are going to find ways to mess up their lives and the lives around them. The Naughty Despot, of course, recognizes the cost we all pay. People splatter themselves on the highway, we all pay higher insurance premiums as a result. Roasted Red Pepper addicts buy their black market vegetables in some back alley, they're probably supporting some criminal enterprise--or as the new TV ad indicates--helping to kill a judge.

Evil lurks in this world and we're not going to get rid of it. (And as an aside here...do we really want a world full of shiny happy people? Can you imagine everybody actually doing the right thing and smiling on their brothers 365 to 366 days a year? The sheer boredom factor alone would be enough to turn the world inside out).

Let the Naughty Despot make one thing quite clear. Despite what he might have thought at an early age, he is not an anarchist. There is a great place in this kingdom for laws. Government is necessary. After all, we would just waste all our tax money if we didn't have any Government to send it to...or at least that's what I've heard.

The Naughty Despot fears, though, if he had his own little town crying monkey, there might be some sort of coup. So the decree might be a little more like this: NO NEW LAWS...unless they contribute to the naughty fun of the Despot and his minions. (continued below)