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Thursday, April 10, 2003

The life of the amateur gambler

I won't go into the few things in my life that increase my heart rate. If something is good enough to put an extra 15 beats per minute on the old ticker, I figure it's sacred enough to keep to myself.

However, with that in mind, I will blog-defile the one secret vice that gets me going: The Game of Chance.

I can't enter a game of poker, blackjack, or pai gow without that fantastically familiar feeling of barely-contained euphoria. It generally subsides after a few hands, but it is there nonetheless. The same goes for just about any kind of competition for money. It's not that I like the money that much. I like the fear of losing it and the reward of relief when I do not. Call me a masochist.

Since I live in a state where it's illegal to gamble unless we're sending our losses to the state, I have to find ways to get my fix. My monthly poker game petered out. Internet gambling doesn't appeal to me. Embarassingly, I score with auctions and eBay. It's prospecting with the possiblity of loss and the reward of relief. I'm a sicko.

I believe I was probably born a gambler. I believe something inside me likes to take risks when I know the stakes. I don't throw good money after bad. I know the score. I never lose more than I can afford.

Sometimes, though, my gambler's instincts transfer into my regular life. I check-raise in arguments with my wife.

For those who don't play...a check-raise is a cute little poker trick. Instead of betting, you defer to the next player. It's a silent indication to non-professional that your hand is weak. Sensing your potential weekness, your opponent bets on a hand they maybe would've folded. They are surprised when you turn around and raise their bet. They now have money in a hand without powerful cards to back it. That's when you go in for the kill and take their chips.

So, tonight I check-raised my wife in the middle of an argument. It wasn't intentional. I've been watching a lot of poker on TV and jonesing for a good game.

Oddly, with most things in life I maintain a great deal of patience. I'll fold ten weak hands in a row if I have to. However, sometimes before I know it, I just can't hold back and I realize that I'm check-raising with an unsuited 2-7 in a game of Texas Hold Back.

That's why I'm not a pro.


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Rapid Eye Reality is the personal blog of writer Brad Willis, aka Otis.
All poker stories, travelogues, food writing, parenting and marriage advice, crime stories, and other writing should be taken with a grain of salt. It is also all protected under a Creative Commons license
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