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Wednesday, October 22, 2003

My dad

I wish it were easier to write those title words right now. I wish it were easier to fill all of you on what's happening.

In the coming days, I hope to be able to report more. For now, time is at a premium and I need to get back to the hospital.

The short version goes like this: Sunday morning fate took a wicked whack at my dad. He suffered an aneurysm in his brain, just behind the left eye. It could've killed him immediately, but did not. Since then, he's been in and out of conciousness and lucidity.

This odd word of brain medicine is not an easy one to understand. If the doctors don't repair the aneurysm, Dad only has a 50/50 shot at living. They tried to repair it Monday morning, but the swelling in his brain wouldn't allow it. So, now, the doctors have to wait for the swelling to go down before operating. The bad part is, as the swelling goes down, the aneurysm has a greater chance of breaking and killing my dad immediately. The swelling is so bad right now, it's affecting dad's ability to communicate. It's not an easy thing to watch happen.

Since Sunday, I've been sure my dad was going to die about three times. I've also had pretty sure feelings he would live and return to normal.

The fucked up part about all of this is that either of those things could happen. He has a chance of living through this and returning to the guy I know as the smartest and stongest man in my life. He has a chance of living, but turning into somebody I don't know. And he has a chance of dying at any moment.

So, I've temporarily moved back to Springfield. As of right now, I'm planning to be gone for at least a few weeks. As this situation gets better or worse, that time frame could ahcnge dramatically. I just don't know. I'm living in 12 hours blocks now and only sleeping in a bed 6 out of every 48 hours. I'd feel sorry for myself if it weren't fr the fact that my mom has only been in a bed for 3 out of the last 72 hours.

I'll try to keep an update here as often as possible, but I don't have access to the internet at the hospital and I don't make it to my parents house but every once in a while.

To everyone who has been thinking about my family, I love you all. My mom and brother appreciate all the nice thoughts.

People...I love my dad. If I've never typed that here, I guess it's about time.

I love my dad.


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Rapid Eye Reality is the personal blog of writer Brad Willis, aka Otis.
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