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Monday, June 07, 2004

Hiatus

About every two days my wife looks at me and says, "Where'd you go?"

My eyes have drifted off. They might be pointed at a billboard or a eatery menu. A few people know the look, though. It's blank, hollow, and could be 100 yards deep. She knows as well as I do that I'm not looking at anything tangible.

"I'm here," I'll respond.

"Bullshit." She says it in a way that is neither mean, nor condescending. It's a matter of fact statement because, it is, in fact, a matter of fact.

"Everything and nothing?" she'll ask, not even needing to ask the question.

"Yep." That's me, conceding my mind is working overtime on absolutlely everything and absolutely nothing at the same time.

"Okay." She understands. She gets that way sometimes, too. Although, she rarely gets the tell-tale 100-yard stare.

And that's about how it goes. I paralyze myself in an empty stare as my mind works like one of those rock polishers you had when you were a kid.

You know the ones. You find an old rock in the yard, put it in the tumbler for an inordinate amount of time, and it comes out looking like something you might buy at a hippy bead shop.

Something in my head tells me that I'm on the cusp of actually polishing a rock or two. I have some unexplianable sense of optimism. It may just be because life couldn't be much more confusing, so optimism seems to be the best course of action. Regardless, I have some faith that everything is going to turn out okay.

However, with that in mind, I'm developing that empty look more and more these days. I'm rock-polishing like nobody's business.

That's probably the reason for the infrequent posts here. I'm not really focused on the mundane, and everyone has tired of my noodling on the indecision of 30-somethingness.

That all said, I'm about to take a brief hiatus from writing, both here and on the sub-blog Up For Poker.

My to-do list has grown massive and I have more than a lot to do in the next two weeks in preparation for kid stuff, Bradoween, the Bradoween Open, current work stuff, possibly future work stuff, and a sideline writing project.

I'll be back in a couple of weeks. In the meantime, feel free to assault me with comments in the comments section. It lets me know you're all still out there while I'm staring at the menu and wondering whether I want the hot roast beef or a club sandwich.

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Rapid Eye Reality is the personal blog of writer Brad Willis, aka Otis.
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