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Monday, February 06, 2006

The Gall of Vestigial Organs

Uncle Ted--neither an uncle, nor named Ted--had worked himself up into a lather. With the echoes of a cement garage floor giving him the extra reverb he needed, he launched into a sermon unlike any ever heard at Mt. Willis. If he hadn't been half-Jewish (and, as such, on his way to another half-day Jewish holiday) and white as bleached bone, I would've mistaken him for a black Southern Baptist preacher.

"I had the gall," he shouted to his lawn care equipment congregation, "to have another bladder. I had the gall bladder!"

Five minutes earlier, we'd been discussing the location of the spleen. As any discussion of the spleen will, it devolved into a discussion of the uselessness of the various organs. Uncle Ted was beside himself.

"The spleen is not useless! It's a filter. Like Brita! Everything is bettah with Brita!"

Google served its role well and once again educated the masses. The spleen is, in fact, a filter, if not a completely necessary one. The gall bladder also serves a purpose, although, again, it's not completely necessary.

Eventually, the sermon settled to a simmer, and Uncle Ted wen back to sipping Schnapps from a coffee cup. I, however, had seen something that intrigued me. Apparently, the creationists and the evolutionists have been having a fight for, oh, around 110 years about so-called vestigial organs.

So, for an hour or so, I read about the coccyx, the appendix, whales with hip bones, and emu wings. As it turns out, the creationists are big fans of the less popular organs.

Me, I sort of live in the present. I still have my tonsils, appendix, and, as for as I know, coccyx. Despite any spritual views I hold, I'm not going to be going into surgery any time soon. If my body is bettah with the Brita, well then, so be it.

That said, people sure to argue a lot. I think everybody would be a lot better off if the organian debated featured Uncle Ted's sermons.

At least everyone would be laughing more.

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