Rapid Eye Reality -- Home of Brad Willis' writing on family life, travel adventures, and life inside the poker world




About Rapid Eye Reality
Poker Papers
Up For Poker Blog
Up For Sports Blog
PokerStars Blog
Twitter
Flickr
Buzznet



Currently reading:





2007 Reading List

Advertising
Aneurysms
Aging
Barack Obama
Books
Computers
Crime
Devon Epps
Drinking
Elections
Family
Film
Food
Gambling
Health
Hygiene
Mt. Otis
Music
Parenting
Physical
Pimping
Politics
Poker
Mental Massage
Tiffany Souers
Travel
TSA
TV News

Blogroll RER

www.flickr.com
This is a Flickr badge showing public photos from OT!S. Make your own badge here.

Monday, April 17, 2006

Going through the Big D

...and no, I don't mean divorce.

Although, there was a point this weekend that one might have wondered if that might happen. Not really, of course, but one has to raise an eyebrow when I wake up in the morning to find a faux diamond earring on the bedroom floor.

"Is this yours?" I asked the wife.

Her eyebrows, in fact, went up a little as she said, "No."

I'm not sure what brought me to the next words out of my mouth (wishful thinking?): "Are you having a lesbian affair?"

True to form with my wife, she was more worried about the fact that a "cheap, one-earring-having skank" had been invading our home--and, apparently, rolling about on our floors while we were out--than the possibility that I might be having an affair of my own.

As I had ruled out the possibility that some one-eared bimbo had been snooping through my collection of underwear and t-shirts and the wife had ruled out the possiblity that she had been taking part in the love that dare not speak its name, I settled on the next most likely scenario.

It must be my mom's.

Indeed, no, there was nothing Oedipal in my thoughts. In fact, a few months before, my parents had stayed at my house while we were out of town. So, I called up Mom.

"Are you missing an earring?" I asked.

Mom, always one to wonder if she's walking into a loaded question, answered, "No?"

I explained the situation and Mom immediately began backpedaling. She, I think, has less faith in my fidelity than my wife does. Worse yet, I think she fears that infidelity on my part would mess up her life with her grandson.

A day passed before Mom called to ask about the earring, this time offering that maybe she "lost it and just didn't realize it yet." Sure, Mom.

With all scenarios exhausted, I set in to figure out where the earring came from. Only two possibilities remained: Either my wife was indulging in some hot girl on girl action or she actually owned the earring and didn't know it.

So, today, as I set out for the Big D (no, not divorce--keep up, people), I reached into Mrs. Otis' jewelry box. This particular trip required something of my own that I keep inside the container. As I reached in for my booty, I spotted something that looked very familiar.

The other earring.

It seems my wife (despite her protestations that it was not hers, that she doesn't even wear earrings like that, that her ear holes had long since grown over, and that she would never buy earrings like that--DANGLY!) actually owned a set of dangly, faux-diamond hook earrings.

As I displayed them proudly--a detective until the end!--she just muttered, "Well, I didn't buy them."

So, now, as I spend the night in the Lone Star State, I'll wonder a couple of things. First, how bad is my wife's memory? And second, when did my wife start dating women?

6 Comments:

Blogger BadBlood said...

Does G-Rob wear earrings? ;)

3:00 PM  
Anonymous Christine said...

Why is it that I recognize myself in your wife's reaction when you clearly proved her wrong ? Are we women really all like that, never admitting we CAN be wrong ? Damn, it must be a pain in the ass to be my husband sometimes.....

6:15 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You should start writing new Encyclopedia Brown books. The Case of the Dangly Earring.

9:40 AM  
Blogger Jack said...

Hope you try out the BBQ places. Spring Creek BBQ is a little far north, but yummy. Or Eddie Deans downtown. He caters Bush events but we forgive him for that. Also, if you want to die real fast, go to Angry Dog for the, predictably, Angry Dog.

9:13 PM  
Blogger Tooloftheman said...

No. Seriously??? Did you really just throw up this softball? REALLY???

"when did my wife start dating women?"

Hmm. Where to go with this...Does one just throw back, "she's been dating a woman since the first time you went out..."? That just seems too easy.

Then again, if it works....

9:55 PM  
Blogger TeamScottSmith said...

Your wife would make a steaming hot lesbian. I would buy tickets to watch.

2:45 PM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home -- E-Mail Otis --

 NEW RER RSS feed


Advertisting inquiries to:
editor@pokerpapers.com
blackjack terminology
New canadian casino online poker web, which is owned by 888 casino announced launching before a few months. They are focusing only on Canadians and their specific needs (e.g. payment methods etc.),so you are able to play online games such as poker comfortably in your national background.
Google


    Creative Commons License

Rapid Eye Reality is the personal blog of writer Brad Willis, aka Otis.
All poker stories, travelogues, food writing, parenting and marriage advice, crime stories, and other writing should be taken with a grain of salt. It is also all protected under a Creative Commons license
.