Rapid Eye Reality -- Home of Brad Willis' writing on family life, travel adventures, and life inside the poker world




About Rapid Eye Reality
Poker Papers
Up For Poker Blog
Up For Sports Blog
PokerStars Blog
Twitter
Flickr
Buzznet



Currently reading:





2007 Reading List

Advertising
Aneurysms
Aging
Barack Obama
Books
Computers
Crime
Devon Epps
Drinking
Elections
Family
Film
Food
Gambling
Health
Hygiene
Mt. Otis
Music
Parenting
Physical
Pimping
Politics
Poker
Mental Massage
Tiffany Souers
Travel
TSA
TV News

Blogroll RER

www.flickr.com
This is a Flickr badge showing public photos from OT!S. Make your own badge here.

Monday, June 19, 2006

100% Not Sure

About six months ago, I was in one of those shopping mall chain stores that are made to look like they are a big city boutique, beach-front shop, or small-town general store. It was dark inside and teenagers were running around like their sexual peak was but a month away and they couldn't wait to get there. The girls were asking if there was any way for them to get jeans cut any lower because there was an Ass Crack contest for 11th graders and damned if they weren't going to win it. The guys were measuring their manparts in the dressing room because there was sure to be a penis size museum in their future. Me? Well, I was 32 years old and in search of something to cover my love handles. That was about as close to my sexual peak as I was getting. Love handles.

In an effort to get out of the store before my Social Anxiety Disorder kicked in with all four barrels, I grabbed a shirt off the rack, stood in between the ass crack and the 18-year-old member and got the hell out of there as quickly as I could.

When I made it back out to the food court, I realized I'd bought a pumpkin orange t-shirt that read on its chest: 100% Not Sure.

In all honesty, I bought the shirt because I thought it would be funny at the poker table. You know, an unsure poker player is the kind you want to play with. Me? I considered myself fairly sure about everything, all the time.

It's a comfortable place to be. For most of my life, I've woken up in the morning with a sense that I know what is going to happen before the sun sets. And even when I woke up and I wasn't sure, I was excited about the possibility of what may happen during the moments of uncertainty. In fact, I got off on it. That was part of why TV news was so exciting. It gave me a break from total, all-the-time certainty.

So, now it's coming up on 4am. I've been sitting at the computer for the past 17 hours. Holy shit. Can that be true? Did I just spend 17 hours sitting in front of a computer?

Yeah, I did. What's worse, I just finished working and I'm still on the thing. I can't see straight. My wrists and fingers went numb four hours ago. I've typed thousands upon thousands of words since I woke up today.

So, why have you been subjected to this? Well, it's all because I woke up Friday morning and put on the 100% Not Sure shirt. That was a day that I was sure I was going to be busy. It was a day that I knew would be a struggle. It was a day I was sure that would end exactly as I expected.

And then it didn't.

As of this moment (that's 3:51am Monday morning, for those of you keeping score), I'm am 100% Not Sure about anything. What used to be a joke is now an albatross, and damned if I don't hate this fucking bird.

Now, to be fair, my life is still pretty much in tact. My relative uncertainty could be 1000 times worse. If I were to take off these amber (beer) colored glasses, I'd probably see that I should just shut the hell up and get to sleep. Still, I'm....well, I'm just not sure. 100%

And, so, I comfort myself with blog rambling and my 101st viewing of Point Break on cable.

And if you leave this post with any more certainty than I have right now, feel free to have a nice day.

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I used to love Point Break. Then my english instructor pointed out ALL the homoerotic undertones. I still love it but it cracked my viewing glasses.

7:16 AM  
Blogger Zippy said...

I have the same problem with Roadhouse. Have to watch it whenever its on. Sickening.

7:35 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sounds like you could use a snack. Might I suggest calling Two Homos Pizza?

2:58 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home -- E-Mail Otis --

 NEW RER RSS feed


Advertisting inquiries to:
editor@pokerpapers.com
blackjack terminology
New canadian casino online poker web, which is owned by 888 casino announced launching before a few months. They are focusing only on Canadians and their specific needs (e.g. payment methods etc.),so you are able to play online games such as poker comfortably in your national background.
Google


    Creative Commons License

Rapid Eye Reality is the personal blog of writer Brad Willis, aka Otis.
All poker stories, travelogues, food writing, parenting and marriage advice, crime stories, and other writing should be taken with a grain of salt. It is also all protected under a Creative Commons license
.