Rapid Eye Reality -- Home of Brad Willis' writing on family life, travel adventures, and life inside the poker world

About Rapid Eye Reality
Poker Papers
Up For Poker Blog
Up For Sports Blog
PokerStars Blog

Currently reading:

2007 Reading List

Barack Obama
Devon Epps
Mt. Otis
Mental Massage
Tiffany Souers
TV News

Blogroll RER

This is a Flickr badge showing public photos from OT!S. Make your own badge here.

Monday, July 17, 2006

A moment of clarity

Though some people might protest, and though I might protest too much, I am not an alcoholic. That said, I am fully familiar with what the afflicted call a "moment of clarity." We don't get them very often. When we do (and by we, I mean me, of course) we generally ignore them.

I've learned a lot about myself in the past three weeks. I learned even more when I got three quick days outside of Vegas and with my family. Though much of it was spent comatose, the time I was awake made me realize a lot about who I am, and more importantly, who I should be.

I've made a lot of promises in my day. I usually try to live up to my word. There have been times, though, that I have failed. Usually, those failures come when I vow to be better. Often, my attempts at being better make me worse.

To all the people who have tried to talk to me in the past three weeks, to all the people who have e-mailed or commented with concern, to all the people who have tried to reach out, I can only say I'm sorry. I haven't been myself. I'm still not entirely myself and I'm not sure if I will be for the next little while. I'm a thin layer of latex away from crazy. For people who live their life on the crazy line, I'm just another guy. However, more often than not, I consider myself the most sane person I know.

Right now, I'm not that guy.

So, this will all be over in a few weeks and I hope to return to the sane Otis everyone knows. However, this time, I'm hoping the sane Otis is a better Otis. A better father. A better husband. A better friend. A better person overall.

Who knows. I may come out of this worse than I was before. However, this time, I'm paying heed to this moment of clarity. As long as I can keep it in my sights for another month or so, I may just end up learning something from all this.


Blogger Huge Junk said...

Keep your eye on the prize, and all those other fitting phrases.

There are plenty of great things to look forward to. In the end, some hard spent time over a month or two is always worth the reward you get in the end.

11:38 PM  
Blogger peacecorn said...

Hang in there, you big cheese.

9:52 AM  
Anonymous Big Tom D said...

Man - the talking VOICE in your head is in mine - when he leaves, just so you know..

I figure he's in all of our heads.. the SMARTER ones learn to muffle it better - we CHOOSE to FEEL and SEE it all...

How sick are we?

12:10 AM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home -- E-Mail Otis --


Advertisting inquiries to:
blackjack terminology
New canadian casino online poker web, which is owned by 888 casino announced launching before a few months. They are focusing only on Canadians and their specific needs (e.g. payment methods etc.),so you are able to play online games such as poker comfortably in your national background.

    Creative Commons License

Rapid Eye Reality is the personal blog of writer Brad Willis, aka Otis.
All poker stories, travelogues, food writing, parenting and marriage advice, crime stories, and other writing should be taken with a grain of salt. It is also all protected under a Creative Commons license