What we can learn from John Kerry

I believe John Kerry.

I do. I believe he mucked up a joke written by a member of his staff. I believe he actually meant to criticize the President instead of indirectly insulting the members of America's military. I believe him. I really do.

And because I take John Kerry at his word, I think I'm fair in saying, "Johnny, you're part of the problem."

In case you don't read blogs or watch the news, here's what Kerry said:

"You know education, if you make the most of it, you study hard, you do your homework, and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. If you don't, you get stuck in Iraq."

And here's what he was supposed to say:

"I can't overstress the importance of a great education. Do you know where you end up if you don't study, if you aren't smart, if you're intellectually lazy? You end up getting us stuck in a war in Iraq."

So, what do we have here? Well, we have a number of things. First, we have a speechwriter who is probably better off writing copy for the J.C. Penney catalog. Second, we have handlers that don't see that their man is well-ennough prepared to deliver remarks that require a certain amount of practice. Third, we have a politician who doesn't own a highlighter.

But most of all, we have evidence of the biggest problem facing American politics. If we are to believe the analysts, next week's elections are some of the most important in more than a decade. If we are to believe the activists the minority party, America is at a crossroads in both domestic and foreign policy and if things don't change now, we're all screwed.

Facing this importance, rather than focus on some pretty damning talking points (read: legalized torture, increased tax burdens, ever-growing national debt, a war that's gone awry, the rape of the Posse Comitatus Act, and the Republicans evident desire to protect America from itself--formerly the role of the Dems), Kerry and his people chose to go with the old school route of simply insulting the opposition. And they did it badly.

My point is this: If you're trying to get a promotion at work, and the guy you're trying to beat out has run the company into the ground through a series of arrogant moves and screw-ups, you don't use as your main evidence, "Boss, just look at him. He's dumb." There's a reason Jon Stewart and Steven Colbert exist. They're funny. They make the jokes. Humor is a great device if you use it well. But, if you ain't funny, don't try to be. It just doesn't work.

So, Kerry and his team have accomplished a lot this week. They have tried to be funny and failed. They have handed an issue (and with it, the beginning of momentum)right back to their opponents. At a time when they were most likely to capitalize on American dissent, they made themselves look stupid. It's not a matter of what he meant. It's a matter of how what he said can be spun. Less than a week before mid-term elections and the news isn't talking about what America needs. It's talking about man who failed in a Presidential bid and how he has become a pariah. That is, the news is doing exactly what the White House wants it to do: not talk about what's happening.

Nice work, Johnny boy. You should be getting your "thank you" note from Karl Rove sometime next Wednesday morning.