Karma, she is a bitch
You know why you don't kick a man when he is down? Because he's a lot closer to your balls than if he were standing up.
Indeed, I gloated about my ability to find cheaper airfare than my friends. I even worried that a little gloating could screw me.
I haven't been so screwed since that night in college when...oh, nevermind. Here's the rundown of how my hour and fifteen minute trip to Memphis turned into more than half a day.
10:50am--Pick up Toenails at his house and eye his oversized "carry-on" bag with a little worry. I'm not overly concerned, though, because, in most cases, we're going to gate-check the bag with a little tag and avoid official checking.
11:15am--Arrive at airport and start making plans for what happens if the airline officials start asking questions about the spelling of Toenails' name.
11:17am--Sigh with relief when I realize I can check Toenails in by myself and he doesn't have to swipe a credit card to get his boarding pass.
11:17am +30 seconds--Curse out loud in front of an old lady when I realize our perfect flight has been canceled due to weather. Our new flight isn't scheduled to fly out until after 5pm.
11:18pm--Listen to Toenails' suggestion that we try to get re-booked on a different airline. Further listen to his suggestion that we lie and tell the desk agent we're invested $10,000 deep into an event that starts at 5pm.
11:35am--It works and we're re-booked to fly out on a delayed flight to Atlanta and connect on a 2:43pm flight to Memphis. Well, it works except for the fact that a bitchy Delta agent makes Toenails check his bag. I bet Toenails $10 he won't see his bag in Memphis when we get there.
1:00pm--After the inbound flight from Atlanta is delayed, we finally get on our flight.
1:50pm--I realize we should be on the ground in Atlantia already and futher realize that we are flying in circles.
2:42pm--Our flight to Memphis is scheduled to depart Atlanta. We land and I call the airline to discover our outbound flight is delayed until 3:20pm and we will have time to make it to the gate.
3:00pm--We make it to the gate in time to discover the flight is now delayed until 5:12pm.
3:01pm--Toenails and I find the nearest bar and start playing gin. We each go back to the gate every fifteen minutes to make sure everything is fine.
4:15pm--On my trip back to the gate, I notice our flight is no longer listed. I determine quickly that our flight has been canceled. I run back to the bar, grab Toenails and our bags and run for the re-booking desk.
4:20pm--I get on the phone while Toenails stands in line. The lady on the phone says I can get on standby for a 5:00pm flight, but it's not worth it because the standby line is already 20 deep. She says we're booked on a 9:43pm flight and we can get on standby for a 8:58pm flight.
4:35pm--Toenails has once again lied to a gate agent and told her we are $10,000 invested into a poker tournament. As he grabs me, he tells me the agent has done "some illegal shit" to get us on the 5pm flight. We proceed to run to another concourse.
5:00pm--It is determined that the only "illegal shit" the agent has done is move us up to #15 on the standby list. I decide I feel like shit and want to go back home.
7:00pm--We arrive in another concourse to sit on standby for the 8:58 flight, which an old lady tells me I look good to get on. We resume playing gin. I'm losing.
8:00pm--The 8:58 flight is now delayed until 9:30 (15 minutes before our confirmed flight is scheduled to take off). The old lady now tells me I don't look as good to get on her flight.
9:00pm--I decide we might as well just go get on our 9:43pm flight and we walk to another concourse and go to a bar.
9:30pm--Our 9:43pm flight is delayed until 10:10pm. The only good news is that our gate is moved to the one across the way form the bar.
10:10pm--Our plane actually arrives.
11:00pm--We actually make it into the air.
11:29pm (central time)--We land in Memphis.
11:59pm--After rushing to the car rental place, getting my car, and getting back to the airport, I discover Toenails' bag has actually arrived on our plane. Combined with my gin losses, I'm now down $20 and 12 hours.
12:29am--We arrive in Tunica, MS. Toenails puts my $20 on black and wins.
Karma, she is a bitch.
Indeed, I gloated about my ability to find cheaper airfare than my friends. I even worried that a little gloating could screw me.
I haven't been so screwed since that night in college when...oh, nevermind. Here's the rundown of how my hour and fifteen minute trip to Memphis turned into more than half a day.
10:50am--Pick up Toenails at his house and eye his oversized "carry-on" bag with a little worry. I'm not overly concerned, though, because, in most cases, we're going to gate-check the bag with a little tag and avoid official checking.
11:15am--Arrive at airport and start making plans for what happens if the airline officials start asking questions about the spelling of Toenails' name.
11:17am--Sigh with relief when I realize I can check Toenails in by myself and he doesn't have to swipe a credit card to get his boarding pass.
11:17am +30 seconds--Curse out loud in front of an old lady when I realize our perfect flight has been canceled due to weather. Our new flight isn't scheduled to fly out until after 5pm.
11:18pm--Listen to Toenails' suggestion that we try to get re-booked on a different airline. Further listen to his suggestion that we lie and tell the desk agent we're invested $10,000 deep into an event that starts at 5pm.
11:35am--It works and we're re-booked to fly out on a delayed flight to Atlanta and connect on a 2:43pm flight to Memphis. Well, it works except for the fact that a bitchy Delta agent makes Toenails check his bag. I bet Toenails $10 he won't see his bag in Memphis when we get there.
1:00pm--After the inbound flight from Atlanta is delayed, we finally get on our flight.
1:50pm--I realize we should be on the ground in Atlantia already and futher realize that we are flying in circles.
2:42pm--Our flight to Memphis is scheduled to depart Atlanta. We land and I call the airline to discover our outbound flight is delayed until 3:20pm and we will have time to make it to the gate.
3:00pm--We make it to the gate in time to discover the flight is now delayed until 5:12pm.
3:01pm--Toenails and I find the nearest bar and start playing gin. We each go back to the gate every fifteen minutes to make sure everything is fine.
4:15pm--On my trip back to the gate, I notice our flight is no longer listed. I determine quickly that our flight has been canceled. I run back to the bar, grab Toenails and our bags and run for the re-booking desk.
4:20pm--I get on the phone while Toenails stands in line. The lady on the phone says I can get on standby for a 5:00pm flight, but it's not worth it because the standby line is already 20 deep. She says we're booked on a 9:43pm flight and we can get on standby for a 8:58pm flight.
4:35pm--Toenails has once again lied to a gate agent and told her we are $10,000 invested into a poker tournament. As he grabs me, he tells me the agent has done "some illegal shit" to get us on the 5pm flight. We proceed to run to another concourse.
5:00pm--It is determined that the only "illegal shit" the agent has done is move us up to #15 on the standby list. I decide I feel like shit and want to go back home.
7:00pm--We arrive in another concourse to sit on standby for the 8:58 flight, which an old lady tells me I look good to get on. We resume playing gin. I'm losing.
8:00pm--The 8:58 flight is now delayed until 9:30 (15 minutes before our confirmed flight is scheduled to take off). The old lady now tells me I don't look as good to get on her flight.
9:00pm--I decide we might as well just go get on our 9:43pm flight and we walk to another concourse and go to a bar.
9:30pm--Our 9:43pm flight is delayed until 10:10pm. The only good news is that our gate is moved to the one across the way form the bar.
10:10pm--Our plane actually arrives.
11:00pm--We actually make it into the air.
11:29pm (central time)--We land in Memphis.
11:59pm--After rushing to the car rental place, getting my car, and getting back to the airport, I discover Toenails' bag has actually arrived on our plane. Combined with my gin losses, I'm now down $20 and 12 hours.
12:29am--We arrive in Tunica, MS. Toenails puts my $20 on black and wins.
Karma, she is a bitch.
Labels: Travel
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2 Comments:
Have you ever read "If You Give a Moose a Muffin" (of any of the other books in that series)? Maybe it's the fact that I just read that book to my daughter at bedtime tonight that makes this post eerily reminicent of it.
"If you give an Otis a challenge, he'll want a bet to go with it...." I could have fun re-writing the whole story.
karma: a bitch with a bad attitude. nicely told.
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