Friday's Mental Massage

I like to end the week on a high note. For this week, it appears that's going to require more than a good attitude. I'm three days behind on work. I'm a week behind on getting motivated to do work. It's cold outside. Or, in short, as someone (Jimmy Buffet?) once said, "My head hurts, my feet stink, and I don't love Jesus."

This old laptop is on the verge of giving up the ghost. It's been a trusted companion. It's been to Europe more times than I can count, visiting Monte Carlo, London, Austria, and Denmark. It's made three trips to the Caribbean, a few trips to odd places in Mississippi and Missouri. It's been up the Pacific Coast Highway. And now this old bitch is about to die. I feel it coming. Even as I peck away at her keys, I can smell death on the hard drive. I don't want to give this thing up, but as my ability to be online at any given time is pretty much my lifeblood, I need to get a new high performance machine.

Back when I got this thing, it was pretty damned awesome. That was in October of 2004. Now, I don't even know how to buy a laptop. So, I need your help. I suspect this purchase will be made before Monday, so don't be shy with your comments.

First off, let me put a stop to all talk of a Mac. Yeah, I know how cool they are. I know John Hodgman is doing a great job of making PC users look like a ball of dufus. And yeah, I'd sorta like a Mac. Thing is, my line of work requires I have a PC. "It makes a difference?" some of you are asking. Yeah, it does. Gotta have a PC. Nothing I can do about it right now.

So, with that in mind, my needs are pretty simple. I need an internal Wi-Fi- card. I need a fast processor. I'd like a 17" screen. I write, I surf, I play games that don't require a lot of computer memory. It's not that hard on a computer. It's not like I sit around playing Second Life, downloading porn, and pirating music all day long (although, that sounds like a good career move).

Hmph. Yeah, that's about it. I'm a simple guy.

But, hell. There's all this talk about how bad Vista sucks. It's actually kept me from buying a new computer up until this point. Now, I think I can't wait anymore. So, any advice from the peanut gallery?

What else?

Oh yeah, I'm still a procrastinator. I've had a February 16th deadline for a project for the past two weeks. Guess what's not done yet? And what am I doing? Blogging.

Other than that, the dog is playing the "I don't want dog food game." The kid is playing the "I'm ready to play outside, when is spring?" game. The wife is not playing any games, thankfully.

Yeah, I got nothin' here.

Back in 2003, I mighta had something, though.

Being a good assistant's assistant eventually became pretty simple for Roy. When the boss needed something, he asked the assistant to get it done. The assistant turned to Roy, made a few nearly-obscene gestures with his fingers, and Roy took off to get the job done. Since Roy hired on as the AA he had learned to make coffee, balance the company's books, and screw the boss' wife. Getting the promotion was going to have its disadvantages. Roy just couldn't stand the idea of someone else making his coffee.

Want more? That was an ill-conceived Mental Massge titled: The Great Corn Nut Conspiracy.